February 21st, 2002 (02:35 pm)
current mood: blah
I guess it is too late to have that conversation, since I am going to go pick up the baby now. I am sorry I am such a terrible friend, but I wish I had a friend that was half as good to me as I have been to you. I will mail you the back door house key I guess, or you can page me if you want me to bring it by there later tonight, whatever. I guess you are mad at me cause I tried calling you, and never got any answer or any calls back from you, and the seminar that I wanted to go to, the one I asked you if you wanted to go with me and you said no, I guess you are mad at that. I guess that is what makes me a terrible friend. That in the past three weeks, I have had to call the life saving crew to come get my mom, I have been taking her to the doctor three sometimes four times a week, I have to set up her dialysis everynight, that I had a HUGE project to turn in last week that I was working on (plus tests that week) and then I had exams just this week that I had to study for. All that makes me just rotten not to mention the fact that the first day I have on my vacation from school I am needed to babysit for a week and a half each afternoon. I guess my life is just stretched too thin for comfort, and now I am a bad person bacause I cared about someone enough to point out that their life is not peachy-keene and it looks like they need assistance from someone other than me. I am at the point of not knowing what to do. I have given you so much attention this last year and done everything I could to make you happy, but I was not the one who could accomplish that in the first place, so I don't know why I tried to so hard. I guess I was just a disappointment to you and all of my efforts were futile. Distance didn't work either since that made me someone you couln't trust - wow never had that problem before. I don't know what else I can do, I am stuck with one choice. I guess if you can't trust me, then there is no need me keeping your key to the house, and after hearing that I am such a horrible friend, I suppose you will be glad to be rid of me.